I think waiting is the hardest part. Waiting to feel better. Waiting for results. Waiting to leave. Just waiting.

I’ve heard rumors there are some children that are patient. I was never patient as a child, but life has taught me patience, tolerance, and empathy. It’s still hard for someone who can’t sit still, so I still experience some anxiety and frustration.

I was raised to understand delayed gratification, so that wasn’t the issue. I just like to be doing something all the time, even if it’s active “alone time” or “quiet time”. Also, my understanding of delayed gratification is that one waits in order to be better rewarded later. If one waits and there is no discernible benefit to waiting, I find that waiting becomes stressful and unpleasant.

If there is too much waiting and not enough forward movement, momentum can be lost, which easily undermines the goal. Getting the momentum up again becomes a chore when it has to be revived over and over with no satisfactory results.

Seems like it’s high time for me to find another way to re-frame “waiting”.

So here we are, delayed again. I can’t even get back to Ann Arbor from Kalamazoo much less get back to Colorado from Ann Arbor. Everyone’s tired and crabby from the recent hardships. I barely feel able to be useful today, but there isn’t much of a choice. Tomorrow will be better when we are back at the home in Ann Arbor where I can more easily manage the environment and lifestyle for them, without having to do it all from the couch!

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